Ugh! I feel down trodd and.. NAHHH, I LIED, I don't. I just feel soo.. WEEEIIRRDD. Like, nothing depressing is happening, but nothing happy and awesome. It's like I'm not living, but I'm not dying. It's like. I just exist... It's so weird. Like, ..It's a bad thing cuz I'd rather feel PAIN than nothing at all. and yet. I like this feeling cuz it's new,and its so trippy. Idk, either way, I hope it passes soon, there are so many things I want and I am striving for, but somedays they seem so far away. I think it's cuz somedays, I have that "go Get it!" attitude, where I am ready to fight, and ready to endure, and drown myself in motivation. Then the next day, I'm like "no future", I don't care where I go in life, I don't plan on it being more than a few more years, I don't plan period. I just fuck the day away, and fuck life away. and it keeps switching back and forth... it's driving me SANE.. which is BAD (if you're me),PLUS I still talk to brother, and he still tells me how he loves me, even though.-.- I just. I don't know. I mean. I can't do this anymore.I look around, and evey chic is too much of a bitch, every guy is too fake. Maybe I should stay alone, no attachments, I always did have more fun like that. ehhh. I dunno. I'm typing this to get it out, cuz I promised i would stop bottling it up, even tho I REALLY want too. So, honestly, I cared care less if you like this, of if you evn read this. SO. All, I have to say for mysel Is: PArty it Up till ya drop, life is too long, to live boring!!!!!!